Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Love is blind?

In love you find the oddest combinations; materialistic people find themselves in love with idealists; clingers fall in love with players; homebodies capture and try to smother butterflies. If it wasn't so serious we could laugh at it. ~Unknown

Why are we attracted to the flame that we know will burn us?

Maybe from working in a bar you see it happen more often than you want to, the random hookups between the blindly inebriated people that make those decisions they regret the next day. I’m not referring to that type of attraction in this blog. When bad things happen, at least to me, I spend so much time trying to understand why someone would want to hurt me. Why I wasn’t good enough to make them want to be a better person? Questions that generally never get answered and probably help lead to the demise of my relationships. Guys can be so hard to read sometimes, but they claim we are impossible. Personally, I never know if my instinct is right or if I’m just being completely paranoid. I started the habit of learning to assume the worst because it did actually start happening. A frustrating feeling when you can’t control your relationship heading the direction you hoped it wouldn’t. Then the internal battle between your heart and your logic starts and the downward spiral of fighting and questioning begins.

In an article I read regarding the discrepancy issue between your heart and mind:

Your heart says, “This relationship is everything I need.”
Your mind says, “There are red flags here that I shouldn’t ignore.”

Since women tend to be more outwardly expressive of their emotions it seems that we would rather ignore the red flags and hang on to the love and even if there are issues…show it off to the world. I think we also want to look for the good in people even if its not there. We think we can fix a guy or even help them in some way, when they are happy the way they are. I know many of my friends that are relationship girls, don’t actually figure out the guy they are seeing is a bad boy until 6 months later.

So how do you find that right guy without having to go through wasting 6 months of your life to figure this out? Maybe it’s not such a waste if we learn from it and maybe people do change eventually, but is it worth sticking around taking the chance to have your heart broken?

Who’s to blame if the other person claims they actually realized their mistakes? Is it possible for those people to change?

It hurts to realize that them people you thought you'd love for life don't love you as much as you thought they did and can do without you as if they never knew you at all.~Unknown

“A bad boy is a man who seems outwardly attractive, but is unwilling to offer sacrificial love in a relationship. He is too immature and preoccupied with himself to share genuine compassion, concern, or acceptance. A bad boy lacks character and might exhibit the following behavior: lying, aloofness, irresponsible dreaming, fear of commitment, sexual promiscuity, addiction to substances or pornography, selfishness, hunger for power…”

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