Friday, July 30, 2010

The Jersey Experience

“We’re beatin’-up-the-beat, that’s what we say when we’re doing our fist pump. First, we start off by banging the ground, we’re banging it as the beat builds ‘cause that beat’s hittin’ us so we’re fightin’ back, it’s like we beat up that beat.” ~Pauly from Jersey Shore
"My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice, juiced, hot, tanned guy and live my life." -- Snooki

I decided to be spontaneous and instead of taking a one-night trip to Baltimore push it to Atlantic City. Not only did I drive/ride 9 hours back and forth in two days, I was running off of a couple hours of sleep from bartending the night before. But what the heck, I’ve never been to Jersey and I wanted to see if the fist pumping, hair poof, roided-out Jersey stereotype was all it has been commercialized to be and another reason to celebrate my birthday!

So my first Jersey experience went like this…

We started the night out with a nice dinner at Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant after running away from the hotel guard that was yelling at us for taking pictures in the Casino.

Just a warning, reservations only apply to fine dining which is a minimum of $50 per person. Not trying to blow a ton of money we waited for a while to do the bar/tavern dining which is around $25 or less per person. Although the food was good, the service was a little creepy with how close they get in your personal space to talk. My friends ordered a birthday dessert for me thinking it’s like Richmond where you get the free dessert. Come to find out they will add about an extra $15 dollars for that dessert. Figures.

We cab it over to Harrah’s Casino; go to the Pool After Dark Club, which is known for celebrity visits. Get there to find a line 4 rows long. So long that they have a bar that you can drink at while waiting in line. Right when I got in the line this girl runs up and throws up in the bushes beside me, of course I always have amazing timing. I get a Redbull vodka, which was basically a cup of vodka with a splash of Red bull and the tiniest drink I’ve bought for $14.

I have to say the nightclub crowd in AC is very interesting. The overly cocky, juiced up guys hitting on every girl and the super confident Jersey girls in the tiniest dresses they could find. Even the girls that SHOULD NOT be wearing tiny dresses would strut around like they were the hottest thing alive. Those girls have no shame and I’m pretty sure they like it that way. The girl’s bathroom was packed full of aggressive, drama-filled, drunk Jersey girls talking shit about everyone. We booked it out of their before some fight started.

I have to add though, I was disappointed about the fist pumping and the hair pouf sizes. Not as big as they use to be apparently. Also, sorry if you’re from AC, but the arrogant Jersey guy attitude is even more annoying in person than when you’re watching TV laughing about it. The Jersey guy thing seems to be to scream at you to get you’re attention. Which for me, makes me want to ignore you even more if you yell “Yo, girl”. Don’t they know the ghetto act went out in high school? I had one person walk by and say “Atlantic City is awesome. I love New York.” I’m not geography major, but I’m pretty sure I won that argument about it being New Jersey.

"Get some food. Feel better. Drink heavily." JWOWW's life advice to Snooki

So I changed it up today and decided to write about something different. Please feel free to comment!

http://www.harrahsresort.com/casinos/harrahs-atlantic-city/casino-misc/pool-after-dark-detail.html
http://entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com/2010/01/22/top-quotes-from-the-cast-of-the-jersey-shore/#ixzz0vCNDJxtx

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Love is blind?

In love you find the oddest combinations; materialistic people find themselves in love with idealists; clingers fall in love with players; homebodies capture and try to smother butterflies. If it wasn't so serious we could laugh at it. ~Unknown


Why are we attracted to the flame that we know will burn us?

Maybe from working in a bar you see it happen more often than you want to, the random hookups between the blindly inebriated people that make those decisions they regret the next day. I’m not referring to that type of attraction in this blog. When bad things happen, at least to me, I spend so much time trying to understand why someone would want to hurt me. Why I wasn’t good enough to make them want to be a better person? Questions that generally never get answered and probably help lead to the demise of my relationships. Guys can be so hard to read sometimes, but they claim we are impossible. Personally, I never know if my instinct is right or if I’m just being completely paranoid. I started the habit of learning to assume the worst because it did actually start happening. A frustrating feeling when you can’t control your relationship heading the direction you hoped it wouldn’t. Then the internal battle between your heart and your logic starts and the downward spiral of fighting and questioning begins.

In an article I read regarding the discrepancy issue between your heart and mind:

Your heart says, “This relationship is everything I need.”
Your mind says, “There are red flags here that I shouldn’t ignore.”


Since women tend to be more outwardly expressive of their emotions it seems that we would rather ignore the red flags and hang on to the love and even if there are issues…show it off to the world. I think we also want to look for the good in people even if its not there. We think we can fix a guy or even help them in some way, when they are happy the way they are. I know many of my friends that are relationship girls, don’t actually figure out the guy they are seeing is a bad boy until 6 months later.

So how do you find that right guy without having to go through wasting 6 months of your life to figure this out? Maybe it’s not such a waste if we learn from it and maybe people do change eventually, but is it worth sticking around taking the chance to have your heart broken?

Who’s to blame if the other person claims they actually realized their mistakes? Is it possible for those people to change?

It hurts to realize that them people you thought you'd love for life don't love you as much as you thought they did and can do without you as if they never knew you at all.~Unknown

“A bad boy is a man who seems outwardly attractive, but is unwilling to offer sacrificial love in a relationship. He is too immature and preoccupied with himself to share genuine compassion, concern, or acceptance. A bad boy lacks character and might exhibit the following behavior: lying, aloofness, irresponsible dreaming, fear of commitment, sexual promiscuity, addiction to substances or pornography, selfishness, hunger for power…” http://powertochange.com/experience/sex-love/datingbadboys/
Http://www.healmybrokenheart.com/broken-heart-mind-heart-alignment#more-4296

Friday, July 16, 2010

Texting..the new way to date?

All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness. ~Mark Kennedy

I, by no means claim to be a relationship expert, against social media, or against new, flashy technology and I wouldn’t complain if you gave me a new iPhone or Droid this minute. I just find it fascinating how this has become the age of text-based relationships, Facebook stalking, and online break-ups. What happened to breaking up with someone in person or asking them to go “official” in person? I’ve definitely experienced relationships where one of the primary means of communication was via texting. At first it was because I was shy in person, I hated awkward dates, but then it just became a relationship habit which turned into being tracked by someone or tracking someone 24/7 almost. I guess it’s easier to start a new relationship by texting than having to deal with the awkward getting to know you moments, but think of how many normal ways there are to follow the person you’re dating that can cause issues in relationships.

To start, texting has transformed the dating game. Although texting is so incredibly convenient, when it becomes 80% of your relationship you’re going to have issues. When you start fighting over text messaging and iming, you know you’re spending too much time talking to each other and fighting over petty things.

First off, I believe when people fight over text and IM they say worse things than they normally would to your face or over the phone. They can get away with saying anything over texting and not have to deal with the consequences until they choose to. Texting seems to be the cowardly approach to resolving issues without having to face the person.

Also, it seems like guys these days would rather carry on a conversation over Blackberry messenger, Googletalk, texting, etc. than having to call a girl. I’m not old school, but I would like to be called every once in a while. I get texting is convenient and makes it easy to multi-task, but when is it too much? Girls want that personal connection and you don’t get the same warm fuzzy feeling from living behind your phone or computer. There is no emotion behind texting and you can never fully tell exactly what that person meant. Was it sarcasm? I love you’s over texting are not the same...

Then there’s the response time issue. When you’re always responding and don’t respond for a couple hours of your life it turns into, “why are you ignoring me?” or “what’s wrong?”

Obviously texting is not going anywhere and will be used for a while, but cutting this habit out of your life is more difficult than most people think. Facebook is another can of worms unto itself….

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. ~Alice Kahn

Friday, July 9, 2010

Nailing Jello to a Tree

There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance. ~Author Unknown

NOT saying these all happened to me, but things I’ve heard and collected and cant figure out why any guy would do these things.  You know you have BIG relationship issues if…
· Deletes you off of Facebook to be mean
· Calls you bad names insulting your intelligence-to put it lightly
· Threatens to make your friends lives miserable because they are “messing with your head” telling you lies
· Makes you feel bad about going out with friends
· Accuses you of being with guys
· Breaks promises to you
· Never calls you-always texts
· Dislikes your friends and thinks they are bad influences when they all have good relationships
· Makes you feel bad about having guy friends, but they can have girl friends
· Gets mad and says everything humanly possible to make you hurt

 If this happens its generally a bad sign and you either need to walkaway or talk with him and make the relationship a more mature one(if thats possible)...
1. Your sister put she likes your relationship status change on Facebook from “relationship” to “single,” along with other friends.
2. When your friends laugh about you breaking up because they don’t believe you won’t get back together because you’ve broken up a billion times. Also, when people start to comment on Facebook about making a decision whether or not you’re in a relationship because of the annoying status updates.
3. When people celebrate and are HAPPY that you broke up because they saw you go through so much.

Don’t get me wrong every relationship has its awesome moments...the cuddling, movie nights, etc, but when a guy tells you the entire relationship was a waste...NEXT please.

Again..this is not just about me and my personal experience, but a result of girl talk through the years :)

No one can promise they'll never hurt you because at one time or another, it will happen. The real promise is if the time you spend together will be worth the pain in the end.~Unknown

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Someone please explain guys..

People think it is holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go.- Unknown

Not to start blogging on a depressing note, but I honestly believe that some people are magnets for bad luck and heartbreak. One would think that after multiple reltionships, you would eventually learn to not be caught in guy’s games. You would also think there would be something blatantly horrible about you that drives men away, but generally there isnt. I would say my biggest flaw personally is overanalyzing, but I have learned that my instinct tends to be right. Some girls put themselves through so much, most people would probably scream at you for dealing with it all, not saying women are perfect but... I know how it is when youre so hopeful this guy will be the one.  There are so many signs that people overlook, so many chances you give to them in the relationships, while all your  friends wonder why you would put yourself through that to begin with.
I’m sitting here at work in a daze reflecting on stories and relationship experiences from friends and I decided to write this blog to see if other women can relate. Personally, when I go through a breakup, it goes back and forth between I hate him, I love him, he hurt me, what really happened, why did it all happen that way, why was I so stupid? I feel like most girls go into relationships thinking this guy will treat me like a princess to find themselves dissappointed. Maybe its the pedestal attitude that gets us in trouble? Not saying women should put themselves above their boyfriends/husbands, but I feel like, I, like most women have everything a guy would want. I feel as though most of my friends do as well, but somehow they find the one year marks in their relationships hard to reach.
My perspective on me:  I have a good job in my career field, I graduated from William and Mary, I like to have fun and laugh my ass off watching funny movies, I’m not arrogant, but I am a confident good-looking girl, I’m social and like to go out and have fun with my girl friends, but not to the extent of being wild and crazy, and I absolutely love cuddling. I am the type of girl you take home to mom, I love being close to my boyfriends families. Most people assume because I’m a bartender that means I’m some sort of untamed girl, when I’m not at all. I’m actually a really good girl compared to a lot of girls in Richmond. I’ve had my party days and learned the hard way, but I learned. I’ve always hated dating and I love to have a boyfriend to share experiences with as corny as that sounds. So why do relationships go wrong for girls similar to me? Were you completely wrong for each other?  Does age make a difference?
A list of the things that I never understood about some guys...
Why don't some guys want to take you home to their parents?
Are some guys ACTUALLY good guys like they act when they are around you?
Do guys see what they had once you're gone?  Should it even matter then?
When guys try to blame you for ruining the relationship, was it really you? Were you that bad?

I’m sure I’m not the only girl out there thats had a complicated past, but I’m the type of girl that is generally willing to take chances and give guys the benefit of the doubt. That may be a fault of mine, but what girl doesnt want to believe the guy they are in love with?  I believe the quote below sums it up…

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you.-Unknown

http://socyberty.com/relationships/guys-having-fear-of-relationship/

WHAT the heck is going on with guys these days..Just to note this is not all about me, but a compilation of experiences and girl talk :)  Feel free to comment any time!
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